Bee's Poetry

Last updated 3/12/25

• All poems written by Detective_Bumblebee

A Gift For Me

I’m pacing around
this collection of presents
that you have given to me
My anticipation is a tiny angry stir-crazy bee
and it just
won’t
go away
I’m bugging
asking
to rip the paper
that’s wrapped around these mystery items
just awaiting approval
feeling like a dog
being choked by the restraint of its collar
I take pictures of the untouched presents
Like my phone camera has x-ray vision
observe the way my name was written
trying to guess which was written first
and which was lastI’m given the ok
and all intelligent thought leaves my brain
any plan I had
just melts away
the eager but careful tearing of the paper
brings me the utmost delightmy eyes focus on the gift
It couldn’t have been better
You got me the thing I needed
and never knew I wanted
a knot forms in my throat
a tear falls from my eye
this is perfect
I don’t deserve this
and if I do
I don’t know how or why
This gift is the best i’ve received
and I know that for sure
but it’s just then I realize
My gift is boring compared to yours
you say it’s fine
but the determination
Is planted firmly in my mind

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written December 2020 -

This poem is quite literal. It's about the love of receiving a gift, and feeling honored that someone would put this much thought into me.

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A Gift For You

If I ask you
you’ll just tell me
not to get you anything
I’ve scrolled through all
of your social medias a million times
I've memorized all of your bios
and all your instagram captions
in alphabetical order
I’m starting to think in your voice
I can pick up all of this
and not what I should get?
why is it so hard to find you
the perfect giftI've searched isles and isles
I’ve driven miles and miles
debating with myself
whether you’d like this or not.
My markers have gone empty and dry
my pencils are worn to a nub
my fingers are caked
in ink paint and graphite
I really hope you like thisWhen you pick up my present
take note of the way I wrote your name
I rehearsed it thousands of times
so it could look just right
as you’re opening it
please know
what I went through to get this
If I could
I would’ve ripped my heart out
and wrapped it up all nice
I would’ve sprinkled in all the happiness and joy I wish on you
and I would’ve washed it in all of my love and support.
I did the closest thing I could to that
I don’t even expect you
to give me anything back
as long as you’re happy
I’m complete and mentally in-tact

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written December 2020 -

A sequal to "A Gift For Me" this poem is about the care I like to put into getting/making gifts for people

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Rain

It’s raining again today
It rained last night
and the storm continued into the morning
the drops of water on my skin
are so hot and cold at the same time
And once the rain clears
I feel a sense of reliefIt’s raining again today
this time it started as a drizzle
with the air smelling of thunder
I thought it was fine
but I tripped and fell and now it’s pouring
no umbrella could protect me
from the rage of this sad storm
and Once the rain clears
I need to catch my breathIt’s raining again today
it was windy too
The wind howled and cried
it cried out to the sun
wanting it to come back
so we won’t be so miserable and cold
Despite all this
The crying, moaning and groaning
The sun remains hidden awayit’s raining again today
this time it happened every night
for a week straight
This seemed so off to me
But to be fair
I did decide to stay up an hour late
Sometimes two
Maybe three
perhaps the rain usually falls
at an hour that I just so happen to miss
Maybe my schedule protects me from the nightly downpourIt’s raining again today
but weirdly enough I’m ok with it
It’s raining not because I tripped
not because I stayed up too late
or tried to persuade the sun
to wake up from her slumber
Its raining so that the next day
the clouds could glow
It's raining because
the flowers needed to grow
It’s raining again today but it’s okay
I still hate the humidity
I’m bitter about the wind and harsh water
but sometimes it needs to rain
and I guess that’s okay

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written December, 2021 -

'Rain' describes a part of the process of grieving.

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Perhaps

The last time I saw my love
she was sitting at a table for two
it was a late summer afternoon
I sat across from her
we said our hellos
and talked like it was any other day
I smiled and laughed with her
but I couldn’t ignore the air feeling so stiff
I couldn't ignore that nagging gut feeling
couldn’t ignore the lingering gloomthe day grew old
the sun was setting
my love got up and offered me a hand
I took it and we danced
there was music in my ears
my head
my legs
despite all this I was more focused
on the one I was clinging so close to
I felt so safe
as the sunset turned to moonlight
as time moved on
and the hours ticked on
the music stopped
My arms felt cold as she stepped away
she looked at me and said
“it’s time for me to go”
panicked
I asked when she will return
IF she will be back
she smiled and simply said
“perhaps”Life without my love is gray
I’m cold and tired
carrying this heavy emptiness in the pit of my soul
She was the rainbow after a storm
the stars in the night sky
She was the blooming flowers in the spring
The leaves in autumn
She was the roots to the tree that kept me firmly planted on the ground
The roots that during a storm would keep me safe and soundI still see her behind me
When I look into a mirror
I hear her little remarks
That add a light to the room
I'm tormented by her smile
That’s burned itself onto the back of my tired eyelids
Antagonized by the giggle that escapes her
I see her disappear into clouds
that used to not be there
I still hear her voice
that evil word
PerhapsWhat’s the point of holding anything
if it isn’t her hand?
what’s the point of talking
if she’s not there to listen
what’s the point of walking
if I'm not alongside her?
what’s the point of telling jokes
when she’s not there to laughI suppose from here
I must become my own woman
independent from the one that’s by her side
I must see life for its joys
beyond just her
As I’m reduced to being one person
I must consider
that I must be strong like one
so we can be as strong as twolife goes on
the sun sets and rises
sometimes the clouds are gray
and so is the sky
but I make it pretty in my eyes
I'm strong like one
although I will admit
when I sleep at night
I dream of her smile
and her voice that says
Perhaps

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written September, 2022 -

This poem is about losing my sense of smell and (most of my) taste when I had covid. For a few days, I was only able to taste basic flavor profiles (sweet, salty, bitter). As depressing as it was, It changed my perspective on how i enjoy food

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Birds In My Brain

There were so many birds in my brain
that would fly and sing all day
they'd screech and scream
for eternity
those birds inside my brainI was jealous of the birds
so bold
I wanted to fly and sing like them
maybe then
I’d have the confidence that they doAfter months of learning
watching, listening, noting
the way they flap their wings
and sing their songs
I thought
todays the day I learn to move this way
and sing these songsI won’t say i’m good
at flying
singing
screeching
screaming
my voice is way too weak
and my arms too thin
I guess it was never really about the flying
more the freedom and happiness withinI came back to see
what the birds were doing
I hadn’t heard a peep from them all day
I guess while I was out flying
they decided to get up and fly awaySo I sit here with this empty brain
silence
no squawking screeching or singing
as much as I want to cry
out to the birds
in hopes of their return
I also feel at peace
without the stress
of the birds in my brain every day

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written July, 2022 -

Birds in My Brain was written after I opened up to a close friend about some things that were bothering me. It's easy to shy away from being vulnerable, even to those we trust, but sometimes its really freeing to open up to people.

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Eggshells

I don’t want to walk on eggshells around you anymore
your yolks are rotten
They stink like sulfur and selfishness
like danger, disappointment and drama
the more I stand
on these slippery shell filled floors
the more I wish I could scream that I’m done
with these silly egg cracking gamesYou baked me a cake the other day
but the milk was spoiled
The butter was rancid
and the eggs were rotten
much like the ones on your floors
This cake tastes bitter and sour
Your breads and pastries are stale and moldy
I’m nauseous and I've now lost my appetiteI dread breakfast every morning
Why do I need to fill my plate
And finish my food?
The bacon is wonderful
The coffee is just okay
The oatmeal is tolerable
But no matter what you do
How long you boil them
How much you season and scramble them
The eggs
Are
ROTTENI slipped and fell and hit my head on these spoiled yolks
My head still hurts
and the bruise looks ugly on my forehead
My hair still smells
despite the bottles of shampoo I've used on it
My clothes are stained
and ruined beyond repair
Sometimes I swear the smell is contagious
Starting with the egg seeping into the skin on my arms and hands
And ending up on every surface I touch
Every object I own
Every piece of clothing I wearSo now you remind me of rotten eggs
The crunch of an egg shell where it isn't meant to be
The feeling of the yolk
Soaking my penguin patterned socks
You made me sick of eggs
I need a break from breakfast
You made me dread your invites and messages
I don't even want to respondI don't like that you cook for me
I hate your custards, pastas and soufflés
I don't want them scrambled, boiled or over-easy
I hate your searing, sautéing and baking
I don't like you and your eggs with your eggshells
I hate that you insist on sharing it with meJust looking at your front door makes me sick to my stomach
Because I know what's behind it
The pollution in the ocean must be my fault
With how many plastic bags I put on my shoes before stepping into your house
I try not to cry as we’re standing in your living room
I think the smell got worse but I really can't tell
How are you okay with this?
Why are you ignoring it?
How does anyone put up with this?
How does anyone ignore it?I’m sick of walking on eggshells
Your yolks are so very rotten!
I wish I could just leave
Rip the plastic off my feet
And tell you to leave me aloneI’d tell you that from this point on
Don't leave your plates of french toast at my door
Or invite me over for breakfast
Or to celebrate Easter
Maybe it's the eggs, maybe its you
Maybe you're rotten

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written August, 2022 -

Everyone who has friends has that one thing they put up with because that's just how they are. Whether it be an opinion on food, an outlook on life, or a personality trait that bugs you. No matter what it is, you gladly tolerate it because that person is important to you. besides, its not like its hurting anyone...

Eggshells is about not wanting to put up with that one thing anymore because the person is toxic. It describes being sick of being treated like a friend to them when you dont want to be friends, and the confusion at how anyone could tolerate these toxic traits. It also describes feeling stuck with the person, not being able to cut them out of your life and reject them entirely for one reason or another.

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The Unimportant House

It’s that time
to go
to the unimportant house
We get in the car
and drive away
just outside of townthis house looks so normal
so beautiful and normal
until you come in
because the real “unimportance”
lies withincolors
painted colors
all over the walls
relativistic staircases
6 mile hallsfractal like architecture
objects from other universes
creations from over the years
so wondrous
holding stories blessings and curseshow many animals can I find
I found 30 cats one time
every animal here likes to hide
I'm sure there's one of every kindI have not many millions
of blurry vivid memories of this place
all of us
doing arbitrary things
like standing in a room
staring into spacebut it’s weird
because this house
is so magnificent
I call it unimportant
but it’s so significant
it’s in my memories
my thoughts
my dreams
this house is everywhere
or so it seems
it’s in everyone’s stories
it appears in every picture on the wallI guess this unimportant house
isn’t so unimportant at all

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written December, 2020 -

The Unimportant house describes a child's memory of a relative's house.This poem is based on real memories of my aunt and uncle's house. My aunt was an artist, and you could tell by how beautifully built and decorated that house was. To this day, that house is my dream home

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Siblings

Siblings are not always siblingsSiblings are evil
Siblings are bad
People you wish you never hadSiblings lie
Siblings leave
Sweep the rug out from under your feetSiblings are gross
Loud and annoying
Poke and poke
‘til your blood is boilingSiblings are demons
From underground
You feel at peace when they're not aroundSiblings go
Siblings stay
Siblings never go awayBut….Siblings are not always siblingsSiblings are cousins
Siblings are friends
Siblings are bonds that never endSiblings are promises
Bound by pinky
With all of the security and trust within meSiblings are needed
Siblings are loved
Siblings (usually) never judgeSiblings are strong
Siblings are cool
Shining like a polished jewelSiblings are here
Siblings stay
Siblings never go awaySiblings are not always siblings.

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written November, 2022 -

Siblings is about the different types of relationships one may have with their siblings. Sometimes a sibling is someone you share a parent with. Sometimes a sibling is someone you met at school, or work, or online. Siblings are not always siblings.

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I Lost My Hat!

I just lost my hat
I don’t know where it went
First it was on my head
And now it’s not
I just lost my hatI just lost my hat
The air feels cold on my hair
That’s now a mess
I didn't have the time to make it look nice
And now I just lost my hatI lost my hat
but first I woke up late
not that I had anywhere to be
but I did
I had to hurry
No time to brush my hair
So I threw on my hat
And went out the door to walk my dogThe air was cold and windy today
I should’ve known
I would’ve put my hood up
I could’ve put my hand on my head
To prevent my hat from flying away
Like a bird from its mothers nest
But alas it did
Finally free
One with the bitter windBut really it’s not the hat
It’s my dad
when I was 6 he called me dramatic
I told him he was wrong
That he just disregards the important things
But now I’m calling him in tears
Because I just lost my hatA boulder fell on my friend
I couldn’t save him
I watched it fall
I tried to lift the rock up
but my arms were nothing
against this mighty stone
my friend was crushed
and now I lost my hatMy mother wants an apple
she says she wants to make sauces
ciders and pie
I try to find them
but they’re always out of stock
why can’t I visit the right store
at the right time?
If I didn’t wake up so late
Like I did today
Would our house be full of apples
Would we be satisfied for the rest of time?
If only I wasn’t so lazy
Not up at the crack of dawn
Searching far and wide
I can’t get my mother an apple
and now I lost my hatI offered to carry my friend’s bags one time
They thanked me
I figured I’d help them
by making their arms less sore
from the weight of their mind
don’t mind that i bruised both of mine.
my arms couldn’t move the next day
I didn’t dare say a thing
my friends can’t know i hurt my arms
for the sake of saving theirs
And now…I……I wish I could do more than carry bags
I wish I could carry more bags
I wish I could’ve held up that boulder
I would’ve saved my friend
I wish I had searched a little harder for those apples
Gotten up a little earlier so I could shop a little more
I wish I wasn't crying this much
I cant survive in the real world if a hat is what Im so worried aboutAm I a bad person
for not saving my friend from that boulder?
for suffering these injuries from all the bags I've offered to carry?
For not growing fruit from my bones for my family?
Should I have done something more?
grown stronger arms and legs?
I’m not a tree
I can’t carry more than 30-40 pounds
let alone a boulder
that weighs 1,410
Isn’t that crazy?
Isn’t that ridiculous??
What kind of monster can’t lift a boulder???I can’t save the world
I can’t be a superhero
A superhero’s best is the best
and I don’t even know if mine’s good
Superheros wear capes
Mine just keeps on flying away
Superheroes save the world
I tried to do that a handful of times
I worked night and day
I lost sleep
and now I lost my hat

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written February, 2023 -

"I lost my hat!" is a poem about going through a difficult time, and the straw the broke the camel's back.

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Your Ruined Name

I thought you were my friend
It really is a shame
That now you’re not my family
Just another ruined nameI could call my child Bridget
Penelope or Jane
But never yours
No, yours is just another ruined nameYou learned my favorite recipes
And made them all gourmet
But now your rice is bland
And you’re just a ruined nameYou can post on all your socials
With comments full of acclaim
I blocked you
As I do with all the other ruined namesYou can beg for my forgiveness
Show and tell how you changed
But tear apart my family
Be dammed
You’re another ruined nameYou rub salt into my scars
Try to open the wound again
Your hands aren’t that of a person
Just another ruined nameThere’s a thing that hides in my closet
Waiting for the moment I’m alone
You fed it
I let it fester
And now it sits on my chest
Suffocating me when I’m trying to sleep
Like a cat, it paws at me
But those claws
pierce right through my skull
I feel the cat scratch fever flood through me
Down my throat that closes
To keep my heart from escaping
My lungs test the limits of my ribcage
My stomach turns
It washes my intestines
of all ease and security
And the pain in my legs is unbearable
Knees, shins and toes
I wish my bones never existed
Are you satisfied?
Do you like poking around
in peoples business?
You fed it
And now it hides in my head
Threatening to sleep in my voice box
It never sleeps
It just waits
It never leaves
Everyone’s afraid
Are you happy now?You think you’re the main character
You think everything goes your way
But no protagonist would be subject
To your ugly ruined nameIn doing all you’ve done
What have you gained?
Go scorched earth
And think your world will ever be the same?
You burn this bridge
And all you are
Is another ruined name

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written December, 2024 -

I started writing this one in April of 2024
-
"Your Ruined Name" is about the list of names you can't use because it's tied to someone who hurt you. It's also about being so angry at someone you reduce them to just another name on the aforementioned list. A grimace in passing at most.

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Hot

It's hot.
It's so dang hot.
How is the temperature so high?
this answer is: I dont know why!
maybe it's emotions
maybe my shower was too warm
maybe I moved around too much
like bees in a swarm
either way, I am sweating
in my current setting
and that must mean it's hot.
so dang hot.

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• What Does This Mean?

- Written August, 2021 -

Wrote this one in like, 2 minutes?? maybe even less. It was supposed to stay in the notes app but it goes down in history as the most successful I have been at memorizing a poem.

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